


first love never die

by ferim



Series: (over and over) [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ambiguous/Open Ending, F/M, Immortality, M/M, Minor Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:34:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26573833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ferim/pseuds/ferim
Summary: “didn’t you want to get married back then, fe?”felix neither looks away as sylvain finishes his glass nor does he answer. he doesn’t give voice to the ring still there on sylvain’s hand, to felix’s own ring hidden as a necklace pressed to his chest.felix allows himself a moment of honesty with sylvain.for sylvix week 2020 (weddings and urban fantasy)
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Series: (over and over) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1932850
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34
Collections: Sylvix Week 2020 Fic Collection





	first love never die

**Author's Note:**

> basically felix is an immortal with similar circumstances to jeralt in the main game while sylvain was affected by a backlash of a divine pulse so now every time he "hears" it he's forced to time travel hehe
> 
> the immortal/time traveler was a prompt i saw long ago and somehow this is what i did with it. v on brand of me but shoutout to my friend hana cause i added the dimileth bit for her :)
> 
> happy sylvix week everyone!

When Byleth first told Felix that Dimitri proposed to her, Felix had thought the other had rejected.

It was the first thing to expect really, because there’s loneliness in the kind of company they provide to others. The assurance of a forever might be set in stone, but it comes with a price of grief that the two of them have long carried within their person. Byleth, for all Felix has known her, should have it worse. Should have known the kind of despair only seen through the deaths of countless friends and family as they continue to age unchanging. It’s why they never tie themselves to anything, and why those that have no longer known what it’s like to rest an eternal sleep have become attached to others that have similar circumstances.

Yet Dimitri ages. And Byleth still said yes.

The wedding is beautiful, which is to be expected when it comes to marrying the Blaiddyd heir. It’s hilarious that a family known to have ruled a kingdom some millennia ago is now running a prominent pharmaceuticals company. Time changes a lot of things, but Felix wants to find the irony that this family, whose history in a time when swords and lances were still used in battle comprised of trauma and pain and injury, is now manning a business that tries to _fix_ that.

Yet the money is there, and it shows in how immaculate the decoration is. Even the reception hall is beautiful. Byleth had requested it to remain simple, but it’s obvious Dimitri’s sister did not interpret that in any way as being thrifty so with Edelgard at the helm of the wedding planning, the whole event from the wedding all the way to the reception had been designed prettily. Felix lets himself think that Byleth deserves it, and the face she’s been giving as she’s congratulated left and right only strengthens that idea.

“I’ve never seen her smile that often,” a voice from his left interrupts his train of thought. It’s just the two of them at their table, and Felix doesn’t look but he knows Sylvain is drinking another glass of wine. “I guess it’s more than just a passing fancy this time, huh?”

“She just got married,” Felix reminds him, looking towards the people dancing, towards Seteth and Flayn on one side speaking to a smiling Byleth, Dimitri beside him with a hand on her waist. “This is as real as it gets.”

He hears Sylvain chuckle from beside him, and the sound of glass being placed on the table is heard loud and clear even with the music and the cheers all around them.

He hears the question before Sylvain even chooses to voice it. “Dimitri knows.” The stare from his left is felt enough that he feels his skin prickle, like a hand will drift towards his cheek and touch him as he’s wanted, as it’s always done before a more permanent forever chose to choke him instead. “He said he doesn’t care.”

Sylvain, with his little knowledge of Dimitri, laughs at the idea. From an outsider’s perspective, Felix wonders if they can tell how hollow it is, how cruel it sounds. Because he knows exactly why Sylvain is laughing. It’s why there’s solemnity present between their bodies despite the grandiose celebration encompassing them. It’s why he feels a bubble surrounding him, surrounding him and Sylvain, comprised of doubt he doesn’t want to acknowledge.

Because Dimitri knows and doesn’t care. Because while that’s enough — it should be enough — it’s so small in the face of the eternity Byleth has faced. It’s small in the face of the eternity Byleth will have to face once Dimitri eventually dies decades later, another tombstone for Byleth to visit in the long life she’s forced to live.

No one understands how long eternity is unless they’ve experienced it. And while Dimitri’s family is one tied with both magic and science, it still doesn’t mean shit to live a few years longer than most. Not when it’s compared to a forgotten god whose lived even before the creation of their country. Felix is a hundred years younger than Byleth, but he knows, he fucking knows, how painful eternity is for anyone.

But she still said yes, and Felix, despite knowing the new form of grief that will settle in her bones eventually, does not say anything about their marriage.

Sylvain, unfortunately, didn’t get a word in on it too, but when you’re stuck in an infinite loop of time traveling from past to present to future, there’s really not a lot of time to get your bearings before being told about the occasion.

It’s how he’s here, sudden with only a gift that he’s says he’s held onto ever since a Felix from a distant future told him about a wedding they’d attend. The Felix of that time didn’t tell him who it was, and it’s clear now that Sylvain preferred to be kept in the dark until now to avoid the bitterness.

He’d arrived only during the reception, and Felix clearly saw the surprise etched onto his person as he handed the gift to a grateful Byleth. It lasted long enough for him to lead himself towards Felix’s table, eyes surprised and lost and unable to comprehend. Yet he walks to Felix with ease, dark hair and brown eyes like a beacon.

Felix is still looking out into the people dancing when he feels a leg press itself lightly onto his. Everyone’s too caught up in the merriment to talk to them, and given how Byleth only has eleven people on her side of the family, it’s no surprise not a lot of people are familiar enough to approach. Felix lets his eyes drift from the dancing, from Byleth smiling, from Dimitri’s hand on her waist, to his own leg. The table hides the feeling of Sylvain’s foot trying to rub softly on his ankle.

He doesn’t pull away, but when he looks to Sylvain he sees him grab his glass again to take another sip. There’s a ring on his left hand, blue stone shining briefly as it catches the light.

“Didn’t you want to get married back then, Fe?”

Felix neither looks away as Sylvain finishes his glass nor does he answer. He doesn’t give voice to the ring still there on Sylvain’s hand, to Felix’s own ring hidden as a necklace pressed to his chest.

Because they did talk about marriage years ago, back when Felix didn’t know how long he had left because everyone was uncertain in the face of conflict. Because back then, despite all that, eternity was not something that loomed over him and all he had to prolong his life was his sword. It was part of a distant past when he could play with red hair between his fingers, when a kiss would last longer than a few seconds, when time was not something he had to worry about because he didn’t know when Sylvain would come back. The ring and the question he’s faced with reminds Felix of a feeling reminiscent to what Byleth feels now, uncaring of the grief that would follow. He leans his ankle a bit closer to Sylvain’s.

“It won’t work out now,” he says instead. It won’t ever work out, he thinks. Not since Sylvain had become the collateral a divine pulse, a sudden heartbeat from a being so much greater than their own, using Byleth as its vessel. Not since Felix had become the collateral to a war whose only recovery meant blood, the archbishop of the time believing he is deserving to live while blessed with her power, no longer tying him to time as he lives and lives and lives.

It wouldn’t work out anymore, not since all that’s happened and the time they have left between them can only be taken in fragments.

It doesn’t matter if he can still see Sylvain right now, even a thousand years later. Felix lives and lives and lives but Sylvain drifts from one point to another within that, stealing only bits and pieces instead of taking time longer than what they’re forced to accept.

Perhaps Felix wouldn’t be as irritated with the goddess, with his eternity, with Sylvain’s nonlinear existence, if it was similar to this wedding, with Byleth and the hand on her waist and Dimitri’s pleasant smile. Perhaps it would not be as painful if only Felix had to deal with permanent torment, but perhaps the goddess chose to inflict a broken time on Sylvain to allow grief to pass between them evenly, like the love they felt thousands of years ago as if it was all that they could feel.

Sylvain makes a humming noise beside him, finishing the glass before grabbing Felix’s this time to drink. There’s still dancing everywhere, but Felix hears clearly the sound of silence holding him and Sylvain steady. Time for them both is now sporadic, but the tap of Sylvain’s foot on his ankle makes it clear that he understands. He’s still here.

+

It’s near the end of the reception when Sylvain leads him away from the hall. It’s towards the garden that Sylvain turns around and presses him close. It’s by the roses that Felix sees him smile before leaning down to press his lips against his.

Because snapshots of their life is all they have left now and Felix doesn’t know when he’ll see Sylvain again so he allows this moment of affection he rarely ever experiences.

Sylvain holds him wherever he could, as if he still needs to memorize every part of Felix like he hasn’t already a millennia or so ago. But Felix supposes he still should. He is unchanging, constant just as much as time is, but Sylvain claims there are still the small things, longer hair, thinner frame. Sometimes Felix looks paler, sometimes he looks livelier. Sylvain touches every bit of him because he isn’t there most of the time to witness the gradual changes.

Felix doesn’t need to hear him say outright that he wishes he could. He’s already heard it once, just fifty years ago when Sylvain met him then all panicked and confused, looking at phones and computers without knowing what they actually are. It took enough back and forth for Felix to realize that this was the Sylvain that first experienced the divine pulse. That this was Sylvain who had just thrown himself into danger for Felix without realizing that time will no longer be the same for him. And he cried because it was Sylvain. And Sylvain held him with an apology familiar on his tongue, with a wish on his lips passed softly towards Felix’s skin.

“I think I can hear her heartbeat,” Sylvain whispers between them before pressing closer, lips pressing everywhere. It means it’s not long before Sylvain is shot to some other time with a pulse of a divine heartbeat, so Felix doesn’t shy away from the kiss on his hair, his forehead, his cheeks, his lips.

It’s an eternity for Felix but only fragments for Sylvain, and maybe a wedding like Byleth’s is better if only he’d know that Sylvain’s time is set in stone. That he’d know someday Sylvain would be gone, time unchanging and uncaring if he were mortal. He’ll age and Felix won’t. Perhaps the kind of ending Byleth will eventually experience is preferable because that seems less painful. It’s less agonizing than not knowing if there will be a part of his eternity where Sylvain will no longer appear before him.

But time right now, before a pulse so divine is heard, is short and sweet, and Felix whispers rare words of affection between their lips. A murmur of the feeling they both have so so clear that has Sylvain leaning in more fervently to his lips. His left hand is holding the back of Felix’s neck, and the press of the ring that Felix had given him in a time long forgotten feels warm and comforting.

“See you soon, love.”

And in one blink, there’s only one. And Felix puts his hand over his chest, feels the ring Sylvain had given him hidden beneath his attire. And he lets his thoughts hope that perhaps the next meeting they’ll have will have a shorter interval.

But in the garden, right now, as the reception comes to a close, with Byleth and her marriage there and real and at the moment present, Felix waits.


End file.
